Let’s face it, there are some moments in which feelings can be very helpful toward achieving safety during moments of true danger. For instance, seeing a large, off-leash dog running toward you may cause your heart to start pounding faster, your palms to feel sweaty, and your life to start flashing before your eyes. You can recognize that you’re in danger, and your body is ready to enter flight mode as you take off to run away, going faster than you thought you were capable of running.
However, not every intense feeling is inherently a signal that something is actually wrong. Sometimes, these physical sensations show up when we are facing uncertainty, a big life transition, new experiences, or even after we have just made a decision. Accepting a job, ending a relationship, moving somewhere new… it’s common to feel flooded with “what if” thoughts. Your brain might start scanning ahead, trying to predict and seek out cues that mean you should regret your decision. You might start to imagine every possible negative outcome.
Since your body can react to stressors the same way you would if a large, off-leash dog were approaching, your brain also responds as if you are in danger. Your reaction to newness and uncertainty is a learned response, and it is not your fault. Your body and mind are trying to protect you and keep you safe, even though you are not in any actual danger.
In those moments, the very intense, sudden urge to “fix” or “repair” might flood your brain: undoing the decision, seeking reassurance, repetitively analyzing the situation, being hard on yourself… In these moments, it can be very helpful to practice slowing down, and teaching your brain that the sense of urgency is not always necessary. Sometimes the most helpful response is to pause, notice the feeling, and allow it to be there without acting on it immediately.
Our minds and bodies are very good at sounding alarms, but they are not always perfect at telling the difference between true danger and unfamiliar events. Practicing sitting with these unfamiliar sensations can help us move through change and help us learn to save decision-making for when the momentary panic has subsided.