The word anxiety gets used a lot these days. It’s become part of our everyday vocabulary, and as a counsellor, I’m often asked for tips on how to cope with it.
Before we jump into coping strategies, I’d like to invite you to consider something that can be just as important:
Is what you’re experiencing actually anxiety?
Learning to Name What You’re Feeling
Many emotions and internal experiences can feel similar. Anxiety, stress, nervousness, excitement, and overwhelm often overlap in both our minds and our bodies.
Our heart races. Our stomach flips. Our thoughts speed up. Our palms sweat.
These physical sensations aren’t exclusive to anxiety—they can also be perfectly normal responses to situations that matter to us.
Think about preparing for a first date, walking into a job interview, giving a presentation, or competing in a sporting event. Your body is naturally preparing you for something important. Instead of interpreting those sensations as anxiety, could they actually be excitement or healthy nervousness?
The language we use to describe our experiences matters. If we begin labeling every uncomfortable internal feeling as anxiety, we can unintentionally reinforce fear around normal emotional responses. Sometimes, simply recognizing, “I’m nervous because this matters to me,” can help regulate our nervous system before we begin spiraling.
Looking Beneath the Surface
Another question I often encourage clients to ask themselves is:
Why do I feel anxious so often?
Over nearly 15 years as a counsellor, one pattern has stood out time and again. Many people experiencing ongoing anxiety have become disconnected from their authentic selves.
Ask yourself:
- Am I honouring my own needs?
- Do I trust my instincts?
- Am I making decisions based on what feels right for me, or am I constantly trying to meet everyone else’s expectations?
When we repeatedly ignore our own values, boundaries, and desires, our nervous system often lets us know. Living in a way that doesn’t align with who we truly are can create chronic internal tension.
Finding your voice and reconnecting with your authentic self won’t eliminate every anxious feeling—but it can significantly reduce the emotional load you’re carrying.
Questions to Ask Yourself When Anxiety Shows Up
The next time you notice what you would normally call anxiety, try pausing for just a moment. Ask yourself:
- Is this truly anxiety, or could it be stress, excitement, nervousness, or overwhelm?
- What is my body trying to tell me?
- Am I acting in alignment with my authentic self, or am I moving away from what I genuinely need?
Sometimes these simple questions create enough space to shift from reacting automatically to responding thoughtfully.
Simple Grounding Techniques
Of course, it’s much easier to ask yourself these questions when your nervous system isn’t in overdrive. When emotions feel intense, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment.
Here are a few strategies that many people find helpful:
Use Your Five Senses
Pause and notice your surroundings. Ask yourself:
- What do I hear?
- What do I see?
- What do I smell?
- What do I taste?
- What can I physically feel?
This helps shift your attention away from future-focused worry and back into the present moment.
Practice Box Breathing
Slow, intentional breathing tells your nervous system that you are safe.
Try this variation:
- Breathe in for a count of 5
- Hold your breath for 7
- Exhale slowly for 9
Repeat several times, allowing your body to gradually settle.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Gently tense one muscle group at a time for a few seconds, then release it completely.
Working your way through different parts of your body helps release physical tension while bringing awareness back to the present.
Anxiety Is Different for Everyone
It’s important to recognize that occasional feelings of anxiety and an anxiety disorder are not the same thing.
Feeling anxious before an important event is a normal human experience. Anxiety disorders, however, can be more persistent, overwhelming, and interfere with daily life.
Regardless of where you find yourself on that spectrum, the strategies above can be valuable tools for increasing awareness and calming your nervous system.
You Don’t Have to Manage It Alone
If anxiety is becoming difficult to manage, know that support is available.
Talk therapy can help you better understand your patterns, identify underlying causes, and develop practical coping strategies that work for your unique situation. For some people, medication can also be an important part of treatment, and discussing your options with your healthcare provider can be a helpful next step.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to managing anxiety. What matters most is learning to understand what your mind and body are trying to communicate—and giving yourself the compassion and support you deserve along the way.
Sometimes the first step isn’t asking, “How do I stop feeling anxious?” It’s asking, “What am I really feeling?”
People often say they struggle with decision making, but in reality, most of us make decisions constantly.
We decide what time to wake up, what to wear, what route to take, what to eat, when to respond to a text, whether to say yes or no to plans. These decisions happen so naturally that we barely notice them.
So if we’re capable of making decisions all day long, why do certain decisions suddenly feel impossible? Often, the struggle isn’t the decision itself.
It’s what comes after. I call this action paralysis; that space between making a decision and taking action on it. The overthinking. The fear. The pressure. The spiralling thoughts about whether we’re doing the “right” thing.
The good news is that action paralysis can be worked through gently and practically.
Start By Looking at the Evidence
Take a moment to think back on the decisions you made over the last week. Were any of them catastrophic? For most people, the answer is no.
That matters because it reminds us that we already have evidence that we are capable of making safe, reasonable decisions for ourselves. When fear shows up, we often forget our own track record.
Trust is built by remembering that you’ve already navigated hundreds of decisions before this one.
Break the Action Into Smaller Steps
Once a decision has been made, the next challenge is often the action attached to it.
This is where many people freeze. Instead of focusing on the entire outcome, ask yourself: “What is the smallest possible first step I can take?”
Then rate that step on a scale from 1–10:
How likely am I to actually complete this?
If the number feels higher than a 4, the step may still be too big.
Break it down further. Sometimes the first step isn’t: “Apply for the job.”
Sometimes it’s: “Open the laptop.” Or: “Find the application link.”
Small steps reduce overwhelm and help create movement.
Celebrate Movement, Not Just Outcomes
One of the most overlooked parts of growth is acknowledging progress while it’s happening.
When you complete even a small step, pause for a moment and recognize what just happened: You made a decision. You took action. You moved forward.
Confidence is rarely built through giant leaps. More often, it’s built quietly, through repeated moments of showing up for yourself.
A Different Question to Ask Yourself
The next time you feel stuck, try asking yourself this:
“Am I actually struggling to make a decision… or am I struggling with what the decision requires of me afterward?”
That question can change everything.
If you need support sorting through overwhelm, fear, or action paralysis, therapy can help create clarity, structure, and momentum — one step at a time.