Over the past decade or two, we have all seen the topic of mental health come to the forefront in a big way; generally, there is a greater understanding today than there was 20 years ago for how important it is for people to care for themselves not just physically, but psychologically as well.
An Individualistic Approach to Self-Care This topic has shown up in many spaces, but it has a particularly big presence on social media. I myself have seen endless content online discussing how important it is to implement self care, to read the self help books, to put yourself first, avoid things that drain you, etc. And while I feel that so much of this is wonderful and important, I also wonder how this may be leading people to live extremely individualistic and isolated lives, and how that can actually have a very negative impact on someone’s mental health.
As a therapist, I am grateful to see so much encouragement out there for people to care for themselves. It is true that there is power in understanding yourself on a deep level, allowing yourself to identify what energizes you and what drains you, and taking steps to add or remove things from your life. However, if you are someone who struggles with anxiety and depression and you often feel like everything drains you, this way of approaching your life can actually be quite harmful.
The Importance of Community and Contribution I will always be someone who supports people in taking space for themselves when they need it; however, I worry that there is a growing belief out there that it is beneficial to always avoid things that feel hard or overwhelming. For example, if someone’s anxiety is at an all-time high, they may avoid seeing their friends in an effort to ‘focus on their mental health’ by spending time alone. When in reality, seeing their friends may be exactly what they need.
Human beings benefit from supporting others. Allowing yourself to not only feel connected to someone else, but also feel a sense of contribution, can actually reduce your levels of anxiety or depression. When you take an hour or two to support your friend, this allows you an opportunity to be distracted from your anxieties and feel connected and accomplished.
It’s All About Balance With the above being said, I do want to clarify that constant distraction is not beneficial either. Much of what you might see on social media is true: there is value in spending time with your mind, caring for your mental health, and processing your emotions. There is value in going to therapy, journalling, and taking space from stress. When you begin to lose your community, though, and move through your life only within the confines of your thoughts and experiences, that is where I begin to feel some concern. Isolation has the potential to feed anxious and depressive thoughts and feelings. So, absolutely take time for yourself when you need it (and book that therapy appointment!), but also, consider making time to connect with and support your loved ones. Your mind and body will thank you!