If you’ve never been to counselling before, it can feel like a bit of a mystery when you first start. You’re sitting across from someone who is trained to listen, reflect, and help you navigate life’s challenges—but what’s going on in their head? What do counsellors wish they could tell you? What are you allowed to tell them??
Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time, considering it, or already deep in the process, here are a few things that counsellors want their clients to know.
1. You Don’t Have to Have a “Big” Reason to Come to Therapy
A lot of people hesitate to start therapy because they think their problems aren’t “bad enough”. They compare their struggles to others and worry they don’t need or deserve the support. But therapy isn’t just for crisis situations—it’s for growth, self-discovery, and support at any stage of life. If something is taking up mental space, causing distress, or impacting your well-being, it’s reason enough to reach out.
2. We’re Not Here to Judge
Counsellors have heard a lot. No matter what you share, chances are it won’t shock us. More importantly, we’re not here to judge. Therapy is a space where you can say the things you might not feel safe saying anywhere else. Our goal is to help you process and understand—not to critique or condemn. There’s no TMI in counselling!
3. It’s Okay to Be Nervous (and It’s Okay to Say So)
Starting therapy is a vulnerable step! And it’s totally okay (and super normal) to feel nervous as you get started. If you’re unsure of what to say, or worried about being “too much,” know that you’re not alone – it’s completely normal and many of my clients have told me they feel this way at the beginning. A good counsellor will meet you where you’re at and help you feel comfortable opening up at your own pace. If it helps, you can even say, “I’m feeling nervous about this,” and we’ll work through it together.
4. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out
Some people feel pressure to present their problems in a neatly packaged way or to have clear goals before starting therapy. But part of therapy is figuring things out together. You don’t have to know exactly what’s wrong or what you need—sometimes, just showing up and exploring what’s on your mind is the first step toward clarity and growth.
5. We Want You to Be Honest (Even If It’s Hard)
Therapy works best when you can be as honest as possible—even when it feels uncomfortable. Unfortunately (or fortunately, lol), we can’t read minds… So if you disagree with something your counsellor says, if an approach isn’t working, or if you’re struggling with something outside of session, tell us. We can adjust, shift gears, or explore what’s coming up for you in a way that better serves your needs. You’re not going to hurt our feelings by speaking up. We’re literally trained to take feedback and adjust our approach so that you get what you need!
6. Therapy Isn’t Always Comfortable (But That’s a Good Thing)
Growth often requires discomfort. There will be moments when therapy brings up difficult emotions, challenges old patterns, or asks you to look at things you’ve been avoiding forever. This isn’t because therapy is supposed to be hard, but because healing and self-awareness take work. Not to worry though, one of the amazing parts about counselling is that your counsellor will be there alongside you, to help you navigate that discomfort with care and support.
7. You Can (and Should) Find a Counsellor Who Feels Like the Right Fit
Not every counsellor is going to be the right match for every client, and that’s okay! If you don’t feel comfortable with your counsellor, or if the dynamic doesn’t feel right, it’s completely fine to look for someone else. The relationship you build with your counsellor is a key part of the process, and you deserve to work with someone who truly resonates with you.
8. We’re Not Here to Give You All the Answers
As frustrating as it might sometimes be… Therapy isn’t about a counsellor telling you what to do or fixing your problems for you. Instead, our goal is to help you explore different perspectives, identify patterns you might have overlooked, and develop new skills to navigate challenges in a way that aligns with your values and goals. Think of therapy as a collaboration rather than a one-way exchange of advice.
9. Your Progress Might Not Look Linear (and That’s Normal)
Healing isn’t a straight path. Some weeks, you might feel like you’re making huge breakthroughs; other times, you might feel stuck or like things are getting worse before they get better. As a counsellor, I feel this too!!! And though it can be so annoying, it is all part of the process. Progress in therapy can look like awareness, small shifts in perspective, or even recognizing unhelpful patterns (and being able to pause and choose something else) before they take over.
10. You Are Not “Too Much”
One of the most common fears clients have is that they are “too much”—too broken, too messy, too complicated for therapy. But there is no such thing. Therapy is a space designed for all parts of you, even the ones you might struggle to accept. Your feelings, experiences, and struggles are valid, and they deserve to be heard and held with care.
Final Thoughts
Therapy is a deeply personal journey, and no two experiences look exactly the same. But at its core, it’s about giving yourself the space and support to grow, heal, and navigate life in a way that feels authentic to you. If you’ve been considering therapy but have been hesitant, I hope this offers some reassurance. Counsellors want to help, and you don’t have to have it all figured out before you start.
If you’re thinking about therapy and want to see if we’d be a good fit, reach out to Book a free consultation – I’d love to support you in your journey!