Grief & Loss

person on end of dock

Grief and Loss is something that everyone experiences in their lifetime. Sometimes we confuse grief, loss, and mourning as having to do solely with death and although this is often the case, we also go through many other types of loss.

Some forms of significant grief you may experience can include loss of;

  • A relationship through divorce or breakup
  • A loved one through death
  • Friendship
  • Physical or mental health
  • Work or career
  • Financial stability
  • A potential child ( miscarriage, still birth, or fertility concerns)
  • Identity (such as in retirement, or with an empty nest)
  • Identity through gender transitioning
  • A pet
  • A dream or potential
  • Safety (after a traumatic event)
  • Comfort (moving away from a family home)
  • These are some examples of loss that anyone can live through. Regardless of the type of loss you may be experiencing, there are many feelings, thoughts, and behaviours that accompany the grieving process. These occurrences can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed and in need of some help to get through these difficult moments.

    At times we brush off what we are going through and tell everyone we’re fine. However, it is useful to understand the symptoms that may be affecting you as you work through whatever loss you are dealing with.

    Some of these symptoms may include;

  • Shock and disbelief: Feeling numb, denial, confused as to if the loss is real.
  • Sadness: Feeling emptiness, despair, yearning, and loneliness. Tears of unstable emotions are often felt.
  • Guilt: Having regrets, feeling uneasy or relieved
  • Anger: Resentment, blame, anger towards others who you think could have helped, doctors or god.
  • Fear: Anxious, helpless, insecure, and worried about your own mortality or facing life on your own.
  • Physical changes: Sleep deprivation, constant fatigue, brain fog, nausea, weight loss or gain, body aches.
  • One very important thing to understand is that there is no appropriate length of time for the grieving process. Some people feel better in days, others in weeks, and some not for years. In many cases grief can revisit you at certain times in your life like anniversaries or celebrations. In general, grief is a roller coaster that can certainly feel all over the place, but if you work through it, gain coping skills, and have a good support system in place the ups and downs of grief and loss can feel less severe with time.

    Grief counselling, also known as bereavement counselling, can help you gain coping skills and can be a source of support to you as you go through any form of loss. Keeping things bottled up can often exasperate the pain and sadness that comes with loss. Talking about the loss can help. Working through the pain with a counsellor and finding ways to accept loss can often help you find a way to move forward, while still being able to honour the loss you have experienced.
    Walking along side you while you mourn and grieve is something I feel very privileged to do. If you allow me to hear your stories and listen while you reminisce and express your feelings you may begin to feel like some of the heaviness has been lifted. If you feel like this may be of use to you in any way, please don’t hesitate to call and have a quick chat with me to see how I can help.